Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
