I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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