The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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