im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
