i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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