there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
