You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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