mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
