i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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