I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
