College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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