I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
