Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
