...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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