I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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