So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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