Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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