i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
