therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
