you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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