My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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