evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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