If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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