Porn is love you can see.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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