i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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