How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
