I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I believe in your delicious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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