Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize