Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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