Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
