Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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