Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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