i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
