So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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