Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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