none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
