if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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