So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
