apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
