Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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