We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
its liver damage thursday
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