yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
