16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
