GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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