I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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