He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
