She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize