I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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