Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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