i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
