I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize