ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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