He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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