I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
