Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
