I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
